Invite, Don’t Sell

Windows and Orbitz provide totally open experiences: you can have whatever you like, anything is possible, but you’re going to have to work for it.

Apple and Abercrombie & Kent chose a different direction: both provide totally tailored, curated experiences.  Someone has thought out nearly every detail for you.

People have shown that they like the Apple experience.  They like things that are well designed, planned out, and simply work without much input from them.  They don’t seem to mind the limited options that inherently come with a closed system.  In fact, people seem to care so little, Apple is now the second largest company in the world, by market cap.

One of the interesting things about Apple, as well as many other high end or luxury brands, is that they don’t really sell you, but invite you to buy.  When you walk into an Apple Store, someone almost immediately asks you if they can help you find something.  There’s not a whole lot of selling involved.  There’s no need: there’s a line of people out the door waiting to cash in their invite to buy.

Apple Store Line

Microsoft, on the other hand, literally has to go and build a store in a customer’s house to get them to buy.  This isn’t selling so much as it’s duress.

What is it that’s put Apple and other brands in such a position to merely have to invite customers rather than convince them to buy?  Obviously their marketing works.

I just picked up a new book called Fascinate that may provide some answers.  I’m only a few pages in, but it’s pretty intriguing.

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Time Tracking, version 3

I was turned onto time tracking a few months ago by Sebastian Marshall.  Overall, I’ve found it tremendously helpful.  It’s a fantastic system to not only keep you on track, but it really does increase (my) productivity.  But, the my old time tracking template will no longer cut it.  For the last few months, I’ve had quite an abundance of time and many goals I wanted to accomplish.  But, for the next 8 weeks, I have a singular goal: pass the bar.  All of the projects I have been working on are pretty much on hold while I study for the three days of misery at the end of July.

So, it was time for a new template:

Time Track, version 3.0Simple.  To the point.  I don’t want to be thinking about too much else right now.  This seems to be working pretty well, but my template is constantly being tweaked.

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Games > Music

In Delivering Happiness, Zappo’s CEO Tony Hsieh recounts how he, and every other Asian kid he knew, was forced to practice multiple instruments, often for hours each day.  No TV, no playtime, no games, until homework was finished and music was practiced.  I knew quite a few non-Asian parents who practiced this sort of child-rearing as well.  As I’ve written about before, attaining mastery in something, anything, is an extremely valuable experience to go through.  If that something is music, that’s great; I sure wish I was a master pianist.  But, for the same amount of time invested, mastering a game would probably be a better payoff.

Born in 1943 to a single mother, a six-year-old Robert James Fisher learned how to play chess from the instruction manual in a chess set his mother bought him at a Brooklyn candy shop.  Months later he was devouring chess books.  Within seven years, Bobby Fisher was the U.S. Junior Chess Champion.  Within 8 years he was the U.S. Open Champion.  Within 9 years he was a grandmaster.  Today, Bobby Fisher is considered one of the greatest chess players of all time.  People say he was gifted, that he was a chess genius, that his mind had some innate aptitude for the game.  I don’t buy that.  Fisher lived chess since he was six years old.  His mother worried about how much her little six-year-old was playing chess, but soon realized “it was the only thing that made him happy.”  Not ice-cream or slip-n-slides or dinosaurs or robots.  Chess.  Live that way for a decade and you’d be good too.

The most interesting part about Bobby Fisher is that he didn’t do what so many other good chess players went on to do.  He didn’t use his mind to make loads of money picking stocks or playing currencies or handling lawsuits or doing anything.  His “skills” didn’t translate to other fields.  We found out later that had much to do with him being totally crazy, but it does bring up an interesting question: is there something about chess, or the minds of those who are really good at chess, that makes them good at other things?

Garry Kasparov says no.

But the aptitude for playing chess is nothing more than that. My argument has always been that what you learn from using the skills you have—analyzing your strengths and weaknesses—is far more important. If you can program yourself to learn from your experiences by assiduously reviewing what worked and what did not, and why, success in chess can be very valuable indeed. In this way, the game has taught me a great deal about my own decision-making processes that is applicable in other areas, but that effort has little to do with natural gifts.

Chess is great because it’s complex.  There’s tons of data to analyze in every game.  There’s also quick feedback.  Make a minor mistake in move 11, and you could be done by move 42.  This feedback is important, because it helps you learn fast.  If you put in the hard work and time to analyze your moves, you’ll discover that mistake at move 11, and you’ll never make it again.  That’s why chess is such a great game: its competitive nature provides an incentive to put in the work to analyze both yourself and your play.  It teaches you all the basics you need to be successful in anything: think ahead, work hard, analyze performance, tweak, repeat.

But think about most games.  Basketball, or Monopoly, or backgammon, or Starcraft, or even Angry Birds.  They all require you to think ahead, to some degree.  They all require hard work to get really good at, though some more than others.  They all require deep analysis to make significant improvement.  The strategies involved in any game are also easily testable.

Teaching someone to prepare intensely, to think strategically, to engage in deep analysis, to test extensively, all of these things help produce great minds.

Music is wonderful, but it doesn’t require the same sort of hard work or analysis.  It requires long work, but not the same kind of deep analysis that many games do.  When you miss a note, you instantly hear it.  No real analysis required.  Now, making your kid learn the piano is still probably more valuable than letting him spent his summer getting three stars on every Angry Birds level, but the benefits that come from mastering a game could be far more helpful in the long run.

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How to E-mail

E-mail is the single greatest time-waster in modern life.

Tim Ferris

Tim Ferris, of Four-Hour Workweek and Four-Hour Body fame, is on a one-man mission against e-mail.  Check out some of the results for a search of “Tim Ferris e-mail”:

  • How to Check E-mail Twice a Day . . . Or Once Every Ten Days
  • The Holy Grail: How to Outsource the Inbox and Never Check E-mail Again
  • E-mail-Free Fridays and How to Save Your Weekend
  • Outsourcing Life and How to Eliminate E-mail Overload
  • How to Eliminate Junk Mail and E-Mail in 30 Minutes

If you haven’t heard of Tim Ferris, he’s a pretty popular author/blogger/speaker who helped pioneer the “lifestyle design” movement.  But, he’s by no means alone in his hatred of e-mail.  Many CEOs and VIPs have gone on record to say “the madness has to stop”.  Even die-hard communicators like Gary Vaynerchuk find themselves drowning in mail:

 

So, if you want to reach out to someone who likely gets loads of email, how do you do it?

Be direct: if you can fit your whole question in the the subject line, do it.  If not, make it immediately clear what you’re asking for by putting a clue in the subject.  If you want a meeting, specify how much time you want.

Be concise: rarely should a reach-out email be more than 3 sentences.

Be appealing: give your target a reason to respond by offering value.  This means doing some homework, and hopefully coming up with a way to either make your target money or make his life easier.  If you can’t come up with ways to do either of those, there is still hope.  You can still offer some value by dropping the name of a mutual friend (allows him to strengthen friendship or curry favor). Or by mentioning where you met before (evokes membership and allows him to feel as though he’s benefiting organization). Or by simply offering a compliment about something he’s recently accomplished (ego is valuable too).  Or, just flat out ask for charity (people feel good about helping others).  But, find something that provides your target with some type of value, whether it benefits their wallet, their lifestyle, or their ego.

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Why Creativity is Scary

What is creativity?  Is it spawning new ideas from whole cloth?  Is it wild discovery and clear innovation?  Where does creativity come from? Is it that Eureka moment, that flash of inspiration that comes out of the ether?  Is it, as the Ancient Greeks thought, the whispers of daemons?  Is it innate, something we’re either born with, or we’re not?

Delightfully, creativity isn’t any of those things:

Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while. That’s because they were able to connect experiences they’ve had and synthesize new things. And the reason they were able to do that was that they’ve had more experiences or they have thought more about their experiences than other people.

Unfortunately, that’s too rare a commodity. A lot of people in our industry haven’t had very diverse experiences. So they don’t have enough dots to connect, and they end up with very linear solutions without a broad perspective on the problem. The broader one’s understanding of the human experience, the better design we will have.

Steve Jobs

Asked if he thought of himself as an innovator, Mark Cuban said:

No. I don’t really have new ideas, but I manage to combine information in ways most people hadn’t considered. They aren’t new ideas, it’s just that most people don’t do their homework about their businesses and industry, so there is usually a place to sneak in and do something a little different.

Creativity takes work.  A lot of work.  It’s not something you’re born with.  It doesn’t come out of the ether, and ideas aren’t whispered to you by daemons, or fairies, or the voice of god.  It comes from observing, studying, learning, trying, playing, listening, tweaking, and fixing.  It’s long hours in the lab, or at a desk, or in the field, thinking, making small adjustments or fitting new pieces together.

But that’s all great news.  It means anyone can be creative.  All it takes is a lot of work.

And that’s scary, because it means you can’t have a good excuse for not being creative.  It’s not that you weren’t born with it.  It’s not that the daemons don’t favor you, or that you’re no good at channeling spirits or connecting with the ether.  It’s that you haven’t put in the time.  So, what’s stopping you?

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Most of Your Work Sucks

Supernova

In the ten or so years I’ve been shooting photos, I cannot tell you how many I’ve taken.  Not because the number is so staggeringly large (it’s probably under 100,000) but because I’ve deleted so many I have no way to keep an accurate tally anymore.  If you were to look through the ones that I’ve deemed “good enough” to keep, you’d probably say that most of them sucked.  This culling process is one of the reasons there are only 85 photographs on my website, spread across 5 different categories.  Still, looking at that site now, with nearly a year between today and my last significant photography project, I could easily cut half the shots featured there.

But, that’s the nature of creative work.  Nobody produces all masterpieces.  In a medium like photography, creating great work means producing a lot of work.  When Ansel Adams was still a full time professional landscape photographer, he used to say he was doing great if he got 12 significant images per year.  In a medium like writing, creating great work means not only producing a lot of work, but doing even more editing.  Honing ideas, stories, scenes, and phrases until they are as good as they can reasonably be.  Even though most of your output may suck, with enough refinement, you can eventually produce something fantastic.

When Mark Parker took over as Nike’s CEO, he called Steve Jobs for advice.  Jobs said,

“Just one thing.  Nike makes some of the best products in the world.  Products that you lust after.  But you also make a lot of crap.  Just get rid of the crappy stuff and focus on the good stuff.”

Parker knew Jobs was right: “We had to edit” he said.

In 1998, Steve Jobs whittled Apple’s product line down from 350 to 10.  That meant Apple could focus all its energy on making 10 incredibly well designed products, instead of 3 great products, 20 good products, 100 mediocre products, and 227 crappy products.  It seems like its worked out pretty well.

If your goal is to produce outstanding work, in any field, recognize that most of what you produce is going to suck.  To get from “suck” to “awesome” takes a huge amount of effort and skill.  If you’re a landscape/wedding/street/bird/extreme-sports photographer, you’re chances of producing great work in any one of these areas is pretty slim, and the odds of producing great work in all five is almost nil.  If you’re a software company that’s trying to cram in every last feature possible, maybe you would be better served by making a few key features outstanding.

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You’ll Never Be Rich

How much money does it take to feel rich?  Throw out a number.

Ten million dollars?  Fifty million dollars?  One Hundred million dollars?

Interestingly, when you ask people that have actually made that much money, the average answer seems to be about 25% more than they currently have.  Even most of the “super rich” don’t feel financially secure.

I’m surprised by this. In the scheme of things, 25% more wealth isn’t going to change your lifestyle much at either the ten million dollar level or the hundred million dollar level.  Sure, you could buy a cooler boat or a bigger plane or an extra vacation home with an extra $2.5 or $25 million, but you could already afford a nice boat or a nice plane or vacation house.  So, why is the goal so low?  Why not aim for an amount that would substantially affect your quality of life?

The actual study isn’t out yet, but the Atlantic got a sneak peek:

The study is titled “The Joys and Dilemmas of Wealth,” but given that the joys tend to be self-evident, it focuses primarily on the dilemmas. The respondents turn out to be a generally dissatisfied lot, whose money has contributed to deep anxieties involving love, work, and family. Indeed, they are frequently dissatisfied even with their sizable fortunes. Most of them still do not consider themselves financially secure; for that, they say, they would require on average one-quarter more wealth than they currently possess. (Remember: this is a population with assets in the tens of millions of dollars and above.)

Maybe the need for more is hardwired into our DNA.  It was only a few thousand years ago that many of our ancestors lived season to season, relying on the generosity of the weather and the soil.  They had to hoard enough during the good years to make it through the lean ones.  When you don’t know whether next year’s crop or herd will be thin, or the year’s after that, you can never accumulate too much to protect yourself.  Maybe this lizard brain in our skulls makes us react the same way towards money.

Or, maybe we only want a little bit more because the little extra luxury is all we crave.  Once you’ve grown accustomed to something, it’s no longer a luxury: it’s just how things are.  Our brains are unhelpfully good at reframing how we see the world.  But, just that little something money could buy that little extra thing that again feels luxurious.  Until that becomes commonplace.  Repeat.

So, chances are, unless you found the next facebook or LinkedIn, you’ll never truly feel rich. That is, if your definition of rich hinges on money.

What if you changed your definition of rich?  What if you adopted the position of a family Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner describe in A Gilded Age?

Having only riches enough to be able to gratify reasonable desires, and yet make their gratifications always a novelty and a pleasure, the family occupied that just mean in life which is so rarely attained, and still more rarely enjoyed without discontent.

Look at the troubles that goal would avoid: the respondents to the study say their wealth isolates them, making relationships with everyone more difficult.  They say they’re treated differently by strangers, coworkers, family members, even other “super rich”.  Work often becomes less meaningful, especially when those around them view their continued involvement as some sort of charade.  This is why many of them turn to philanthropy, but the feeling that people are only interested in their money is pretty tough to shake there too (shocking, right?).  The survey also found the respondents overwhelmingly concerned with how the money would effect their children:

Many express relief that their kids’ education was assured, but are concerned that money might rob them of ambition. Having money “runs the danger of giving them a perverted view of the world,” one respondent writes. Another worries, “Money could mess them up—give them a sense of entitlement, prevent them from developing a strong sense of empathy and compassion.

This is in no way to say that wealth, or the desire for wealth, is bad.  I think it’s a very good thing.  It helps people create art.  But, the thing I found odd about the entire article is that no one spoke of “rich” as anything but “having lots and lots of money”.  Not having read any of the individual responses to the study, and not knowing them personally, perhaps this is part of reason they are such a “generally dissatisfied lot”. Surely being rich encompasses much more than just having lots and lots of money.

I know people who fit into this “super rich” category who live very ordinary lives in very ordinary homes, drive very ordinary cars, and still go to the same jobs that made them very wealthy.  They don’t seem to to be dissatisfied at all, nor do they seem to have the problems the survey respondents do.  Their kids are some of the best people I’ve met.  Perhaps it’s precisely because they never defined being rich as having lots and lots of money.

While your lizard brain may prevent you from ever really feeling “financially secure”, it should certainly never prevent you from feeling “rich”, so long as you define it in the right way.

You can read the entire Atlantic article here.
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How To Get Smarter

For years, people thought intelligence was genetic.  It was thought that your intelligence potential was more or less fixed at birth, that at best, you could make yourself dumber by huffing paint or drinking booze.  This was actually confirmed by just about all of the scientific studies conducted.  Many studies showed that nominal improvements in intelligence could be made through training, but all of these improvements seemed to evaporate after a short time.  Worse, the training that yielded the greatest results, as measured by particular tests, didn’t translate to any other tests, mostly because the training just taught people how to do well on the particular test.

But now there’s the Brain Workshop and Dual-n-Back.

Fluid Intelligence

Researchers have identified one of the most important aspects of intelligence, which they call Fluid Intelligence.  Basically, fluid intelligence is a measure of how good someone is at learning new information and then adapting that information to a new cognitive problem or situation.  This is obviously a key to how fast someone learns, but it also seems to closely relate to both educational and professional success.  So, it’s kinda important.

It turns out Fluid Intelligence is also closely related to working memory.  Maybe you’ve heard that most people can only keep 3 or 4 things in their working memory at one time?  Well, this actually varies quite a bit, with more intelligent people generally able to hold more things in working memory at one time.  Scientists aren’t really sure why, but they have some hypothesis as to why Fluid Intelligence and working memory are so related:

  1. Working memory and intelligence share a common capacity constraint.  The reason for this constraint is assumed to lie in the common demand for attention when temporary binding processes are taking place to form representations in reasoning tasks.
  2. Working memory and Fluid Intelligence are primarily related through attentional control processes.
  3. The ability to derive abstract relations and to maintain a large set of possible goals in working memory accounts for individual differences in typical tasks that measure Fluid Intelligence.
  4. Fluid Intelligence and working memory both rely on the same underlying neural circuitries and networks, most consistently located in lateral prefrontal and parietal cortices.

But, that doesn’t mean Fluid Intelligence and working memory are the same thing.  It just means that by training to increase your working memory, you can increase your Fluid Intelligence.  This means you’re not only getting better at a test, you’re actually getting smarter.  Fluid Intelligence measures how well you learn and apply, after all.  And the good news is, studies have shown that it doesn’t matter how smart or dumb you are, everybody can increase their working memory.  These gains don’t appear to be terribly short lived, and they don’t appear to plateau, at least not during the three-week training covered by the studies.  That means you can keep getting smarter and smarter.

How To Increase Your Fluid Intelligence

This part is easy and fun too.  The software is called the Brain Workshop, and the game is called Dual-n-Back.  (It’s free).  The game is played on a tic-tac-toe board.  The “dual” means there are two stimuli: audio and visual.  A square flashes at one space on the board at the same time a letter is said aloud.  The square disappears and then another square flashes at a space on the board while another letter is said aloud.  Repeat.  The “n-back” means you have to remember n moves ago.  So, if you’re play Dual-2-Back, you press either “A” (for audio) or “L” (for location) if either the same letter was spoken aloud or same the location on the board was displayed 2 moves backs.  If you’re playing Dual-4-Back, you press “A” or “L” if the same thing was spoken or displayed 4 moves ago.

I discovered this almost a year ago, played it for a few minutes a day for a few a couple weeks, and thought it was tremendous.  I definitely noticed a difference in my thinking.  I don’t know if I would say I got smarter, but my thinking was much clearer and my short term memory seemed to improve quite a bit.

Has anyone else used this?  Have you found it beneficial?

Get Dual-n-Back here.

Read the paper, Improving fluid intelligence with training on working memory, here.

 

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Being Frugal Makes You A Loser

I’m all for saving money.  I get as much pleasure watching my bank account grow as I do from buying things or taking trips.  But, people often take frugality too far.  I don’t care if you’re poor, and if you’re reading this you’re not actually poor, there are things where you should always spend a little extra money.  Being frugal, on the wrong things, makes you a loser.  If you’re always buying cheap, generic crap, not only are you making your life miserable, you’re sending yourself a terrible message: “I’m not worth it.”  Get used to quality.  Get used to being worth it.  You’ll be more successful if you do.

Buy a nice mattress. I’m not suggesting you spend $20,000, but don’t cheap out and buy the $180 piece of crap with no box spring off the back of a truck.  You’re going to spend a third of your life in bed.  A good one makes a massive difference in how you sleep and how you feel.  Buy some great sheets too.  You can get amazing sheets for under $40 these days.

By comfortable shoes.  The 16 hours you’re not sleeping?  Chances are you’ve got shoes on.  Find the most comfortable shoes you can.  So what if they’re $100.  Unless you’re some sort of foot messenger, you only need to buy one pair a year.

Whatever else you spend a lot of time doing, spend the extra money to make yourself comfortable.  I can’t understand people who sit in front of a computer all day and still have a $39 office chair and a 15″ monitor.  Seriously?  If you mountain bike every weekend, spend an extra $30 to get the super comfortable helmet.

Tools, of all kinds: get the nice version.  Don’t buy that shitty plastic screwdriver for 75 cents.  Spend $5 for one that feels good in your hand, that’s comfortable to use, and that will last forever. Don’t buy that shitty knife with the loose plastic handle and the blade that bends when you put pressure on it and won’t hold edge after two weeks.  Spend $30 for a knife that works, doesn’t aggravate you, and isn’t dangerous.

Get two of the small stuff that’s easily misplaced.  Buy two nail clippers.  Not the tiny ones for $1.29.  Spend $3.85 for the shaped one that traps all the clippings, and buy an extra one you can keep downstairs, or in your car, or your gym bag, or wherever you always need one.  Do this for all the little stuff that you can never find when you need them.

Little things like these make such a quality of life difference, for almost no money.

Want to feel like your bathroom is a spa?  Buy scented candle or some potpourri and a stack of washcloths for your bathroom counter.  It smells awesome and you feel great when you grab a fresh towel to wash your face every day.  Total cost?  Well under $10.  Total benefit?  A hell of a lot more than $10.

A good rule of thumb from Keeping It Straight by Patrick Rhone:

… anywhere I can make a buying choice that I, with proper care and maintenance, will never have to make again for the rest of my life, I do. In those cases, I’m willing to pay far more for an item if I know it will last a lifetime and, even more importantly to me, if I will never have to spend the mental energy making a choice again. Especially because making final choices often requires far more time and research then making regular ones. In fact, I would argue that the more final the choice, the longer it should take to make it. Also, what you spend on the front end usually repays exponentially, and in many different ways, on the back end.

HT: Unclutterer

The mental aspect of this is huge.  Even more than the benefit of buying something once and never having to think about it again, using shitty quality stuff is draining.  It’s grating.  It’s aggravating.  It’s a huge waste of time.  It shifts your focus away from your goal and focuses it on what a piece of shit this tool is, or how a monkey could have done a better job designing it.  It also reinforces the mindset that you’re cheap.  “Stuff is cheap, so I don’t need a lot of money.”  “I’m happy with mediocrity.”

Using well designed stuff reinforces the mindset of earning and creating.  “Man, the world needs more well designed and well made stuff like this.”  “Man, I’m going to earn more so I can have more well designed and well made stuff like this.”

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That’s Not Fair

What revolves around the Earth?

“Henri looked down in concentration as the answer choices were read aloud: (A) The moon, (B) The sun, (C) Mars, (D) Venus.  Henri reread the question out loud and mulled the choices over in his head.  As the ominous music continued to play, he bit his lip.  Seeing the contestant’s puzzlement turn into genuine consternation, the host offered some advice: “Take your time, and if you have any doubts, use a lifeline.”

“Needing all the help he could get, Henri decided to invoke his “ask the audience” lifeline.  The camera panned across the French audience, capturing the dismay on their faces — a sign that they had made a diagnostic decision about Henri.  Only 42 percent of the audience voted for the right answer.  A full 46 percent voted for the sun revolving around the Earth.”

Procedural Justice

Why would the French audience deliberately give Henri the wrong answer?  For the same reason that people from western cultures agree to split the money evenly in the following game:

Subject A and Subject B are placed in two different rooms.  Their identities are not disclosed and they are not allowed to communicate with each other in any way.  I give $100 to Subject A, who must divide this money between himself and Subject B.  He can make only one offer to B, and if B rejects that offer, neither get any money and the game is over.

Now, the rational answer is for B to take any and every offer made by A.  Any amount is more valuable than zero, the amount B gets if he rejects.  This is precisely what happens in some cultures around the world, such as the Machiguenga tribe in the Amazon.  In their view, they weren’t being treated unfairly by the offeror; instead they were just unlucky that they didn’t get to be the offeror.  They’ll take pretty much any offer that’s made, with the most common split being 85/15 in favor of the offeror.  The exception is with those tribe members who have spent significant time in the Western world.

Here, in the West, the most common offer is 50/50, which the offeree always accepts.  When asked if they would have accepted an 80/20 split, more generous than the most common Machiguenga split, nearly every offeree scoffed, saying he’d rather walk away empty handed than be treated unfairly, which some subjects did after refusing to accept “unfair” offers.  Interestingly though, when the offerror was replaced with a computer, nobody rejected the same unfair splits.

It’s the process, not the result, that makes us behave irrationally.

Millionaire’s Aren’t Fair

If we watch Millionaire in America, the ask the audience lifeline is probably the best bet: the audience gives the contestant the right answer over 90% of the time.  But, as Henri demonstrates, other Western cultures do not.  The producers of the Russian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire noticed that Russian audiences routinely gave contestants the wrong answer, deliberately misleading both smart and dumb contestants alike.

Ori and Rom Brafman, in their book Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior, suggest that the French and Russians have different senses of fairness than Americans.  In France, if you’re not smart enough to get the easy questions right, you don’t deserve to move on.

In Russia, for hundreds of years, peasant communities were based on joint responsibility, which required everyone to act together and lend one another a hand.  This thinking was brought to the cities as the USSR industrialized and still permeates Russian culture.  This thinking also made it dangerous to stand out: if you were too poor you became a drag on the entire community.  If you were rich, you likely did something illegal, which again threatened the whole community.  This skeptical and jealous view toward wealth was only buttressed by the Oligarchs who made massive amounts of fast money dismantling and exploiting the country after the USSR collapsed.

The Brafmans suggest that the Russian Millionaire audiences see contestants “as trying to get rich on the backs of the audience members — and why should they contribute to such unfair behavior?”  If they can’t do it on their own, they don’t deserve it.

Cultural Relativism

So what is fair, then?  Well, it depends on where you are and who you’re dealing with. It’s important to understand their concept of fairness, because it may very well be different from yours.  Walking through the reasoning behind your offers, or positions, or decisions, will go along ways towards getting what you want.

 

Note: This post borrows from Ori and Rom Brafman’s Sway: The Irresistible Pull of Irrational Behavior.  It’s an extremely interesting and easy read, that can definitely add some value to your life.  I highly recommend it.

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Books Are Souvenirs

People used to read books for two reasons: to gain some knowledge or to be entertained.  For a few hundred years, bound books were about the only good way to store a large amount of information.  People still had voices, and pens and paper, and stone and chisels, but these were transient, ephemeral, or unwieldy.  If you wanted to convey a lifetime of knowledge and transmit it to more than one person at a time, your best bet was to print some books.

After a few hundred years, people invented things like records, and film.  Printing presses got good enough that dozens or hundreds of stories could be printed each night, ready for consumption and disposal each morning.  Books had competition, and creators had new ways to share and store ideas.  But, if you wanted to distill a tremendous amount of work and knowledge into something that was easily sharable, a book was still your best bet.

Then, if you’re a traditional publisher, the internet and the Kindle fucked it all up.  Now, an author can share his life’s work with the entire world with just the click of a button.  Digital copies are plentiful, and sending it to one more person doesn’t cost anything.  They don’t weigh anything: you can store thousands of books on a device, or even better, in the cloud, making them accessible from any device, at any time, anywhere in the world.  Physical books are surely on their way out, right?

Books as Souvenirs

Sure, there are some people who don’t like reading on a screen, or who love holding real paper.  Those people are going to either die out, or be won over once they see how easy and fun reading on a Kindle or other device can be. I’ve already seen die-hard paper-lovers, who claimed they would never give up their beloved hard-bounds, make the switch, and the technology isn’t anywhere near where it will be in 5 years.

But, books won’t die.  Books still provide people with value, apart from the information they contain.  Books represent things, places, times, events or ideas to certain people.

I have the Lord of the Rings triology on my bookshelf right now, not because I’m ever going to reread them, but because every time I see them I think about the time I spent reading them.  After long days of chasing and photographing game in Kenya and Tanzania with my family, I would stay up late reading those books.  In some places we were staying, the generators would shut off after 9 or 10pm, so I would have to read with one of those clip-on lights.  That little light threw some wild shadows when it blasted through the mosquito net.  It’s just as good a souvenir as the carved wooden rhinoceros that sits on my desk.

I have Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone on my bookshelf because it represents the idea of building relationships by helping people, something I’m working to get better at.  I don’t need to read the book again (although I probably will — it’s full of great insights), but its physical presence reminds me of what’s in it.

Go the Fuck to Sleep

Adam Mansbach wrote a children’s book for adults about the pains of getting a kid to go to sleep, called Go the Fuck to Sleep. A pirated PDF of the short, illustrated book swept across the web.  You know it’s gone viral when your mom asks you about it.  Despite the fact that it was widely circulated, and freely available, it shot to the number 1 spot on Amazon’s best-seller list.  A month before it was even published.

Why?

It was driven by that piracy.  People read it, loved it, forwarded it, but then decided they wanted a physical copy.  A PDF wouldn’t cut it.  Maybe, in this particular case, it’s because a PDF is still hard to share over hors d’oeuvres at the coffee table.  But how many people are going to be sharing this at dinner parties?  More likely, I think, the majority of buyers wanted a memento, a way to remember the idea and the execution, or to commemorate the event of sharing this irreverent book with people.  A yearbook, of sorts.

Whatever the particular reason behind the success of Go the Fuck to Sleep, I think the future is clear: its easier, faster, and cheaper to consume books digitally.  In order to get people to buy physical media, you’re going to have to tie it to an event, an idea, or a movement that people want to be a part of, and be reminded of.  You’re going to have to make art.

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The Point of the Internet

The web is chock-full of information but what we are really after as people is not information but other interesting people.

Chatty’s About Page

Is that really what people are after?  An awful lot of the internet has been built around getting people the information they want.  Wikipedia.  WebMD.  Online payment sites have been built specifically so we don’t have to interact with other people: we can sit in our underwear at 3 in the morning and get things done.

But we have a whole ‘nother side of the web built specifically around letting people communicate: facebook, twitter, chatroulette, reddit.  In fact, a lot of the web 2.0 companies are based on bringing people together, whether it’s the latest incarnation of match.com or groupon.

The latter seems like a much better business to be in.  There’s only so many processes you can automate and dehumanize.  There’s an infinite number of relationships that could be built.

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Outside the Quotes

For years, kids in America were taught that punctuation marks go inside the quotation mark, regardless of whether you’re actually quoting the punctuation.

“Why?”

I have no clue.  Rosemary Feal, the queen over at the Modern Language Association (MLA) claims it was purely an aesthetic choice, since putting a punctuation mark after the quotes makes it “hang off by itself”.

That always seemed dumb to me, so I sided with the Brits and always put my punctuation where it belonged.  If you’re not quoting the punctuation, why the hell does it belong in the quotes?  Nobody ever provided me with a decent answer, so I never did it.

It appears others are starting to feel similarly: wikipedia’s style guide notes that “logical punctuation … is used here because it is deemed by Wikipedia consensus to be more in keeping with the principle of minimal change.”  If you put punctuation marks in quote that didn’t originally contain them, you are “changing” the quoted text.  The the penultimate sentence, the ellipses were obviously not in the original.  Based on the American convention, it is not clear whether the period would be.  But, since I side with Jolly Ol’ England on this one, that period is in the original text.  Makes sense, right?

HT: http://www.slate.com/id/2293056/

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Why Poker Is Like Business

In Tony Hsieh’s Delivering Happiness, he discusses life after being bought out of LinkExchange for $265 million, of which his share was around $20 million.  While searching for what he was going to do next, he became intensely focused on poker.  As he got better, he realized how much poker resembled business.

Evaluating market opportunities: table selection is the most important decision you can make.  It’s okay to switch tables if you discover it’s too hard to win at your table.  If there are too many competitors, some irrational or inexperienced, even if you’re the best, it’s a lot harder to win.

Marketing and branding: act weak when strong, act strong when weak.  Know when to bluff.  Your brand is important.  Help shape the stories that people are telling about you.

Financials: Always be prepared for the worst possible scenarios.  the guy who wins the most hands is not the guy who makes the most money in the long run.  The guy who never loses a hand is not the guy who makes the most money in the long run.  Go for positive expected value, not what’s least risky.  Make sure your bnakroll is large enough for the game you’re playing and the risks your taking.  Play only with what you can afford to lose.  Remember, it’s a long term game: you will win or lose individual hands or sessions, but it’s what happens in the long term that matters.

Strategy: Don’t play games you don’t understand, even if you see lots of other people making money from them.  Figure out the game when the stakes aren’t high.  Don’t Cheat.  Cheaters never win in the long run.  Stick to your principles.  You need to adjust your style of play throughout the night as the dynamics of the game change.  Be flexible, be patient, and think long-term.  The players with the most stamina and focus usually win.  Differentiate yourself: do the opposite of what the rest of the table is doing.  Hope is not a good plan.  Don’t let yourself go on tilt.  It’s much more cost effective to take a break, walk around, or leave the game for the night.

Continual learning: Educate yourself.  Read books and learn from others who have done it before.  Learn by doing: theory is nice, but nothing replaces actual experience.  Learn by surrounding yourself with talented players.  Just because you win a hand doesn’t mean you’re good and you don’t have any more learning to do.  You might have just gotten lucky.  Don’t be afraid to ask for advice.

Culture: You’ve gotta love the game.  To become really good, you’ve got to live it and sleep it.  Don’t be cocky.  Don’t be flashy.  There’s always someone better than you.  Be nice and make friends; it’s a small community.  Share what you’ve learned with others.  Look for opportunities beyond just the game you sat down to play.  You never know who you’re going to meet, including new friends for life or new business contacts.  Have fun.  The game is a lot more enjoyable when you’re trying to do more than just make money.

Aside from remembering to focus on what’s best for the long term, I think the biggest business lesson I learned from poker concerned the most important decision you can make in the game.  Although it seems obvious in retrospect, it took me six months before I finally figured it out.  Through reading poker books and practicing while playing, I spent a lot of time learning about hte best strategy to play once I was sitting down at a table.  My big “A-ha!” moment came when I finally learned that the game started even before I sat down in a seat.  In a poker room at a casino, there are usually many different choices of tables.  Each table has different stakes, different players and different dynamics as the players come and go, and as players get excited, upset, or tired.  I learned that the most important decision I could make was which table to sit at.  This included knowing when to change tables.  I learned from a book that an experienced player can make ten times as much money sitting at a table with nine mediocre players who are tired and have a lot of chips compared with sitting at a table with nine really good players who are focused nad don’t have that many chips in front of them.

In business, one of the most important decisions for an entrepreneur or a CEO to make is what business to be in.  It doesn’t matter how flawlessly a business is executed if its the wrong business or if it’s in too small a market.  Imagine if you were the most efficient manufacturer of seven-fingered gloves.  You offer the best selection, the best service, the best prices for seven-fingered gloves.  But if there isn’t a big enough market for what you sell, you won’t get very far.  Or, if you decide to start a business that competes directly against really experienced competitors such as Wal-Mart, by playing the same game they play, for example, trying to sell the same goods at a lower price, then chances are, you will go out of business.

In a poker room, I could only choose which table I wanted to sit at, but in business I realized that I didn’t have to sit at an existing table.  I could define my own, or make the one I was already at even bigger, or, just like in a poker room, I could always choose to change tables.  I realized that, whatever the vision was for any business, there was always a bigger vision that could make the table bigger.  When Southwest Airlines first started, they didn’t see their target market as limited to just existing airline travelers, which was what all the other airlines did.  Instead, they imagined their service as something that could potentially serve all the people who traveled by Greyhound bus or by train, and they designed their business around that.  They offered short flights at cheap prices, instead of going with the more prevalent hub-and-spoke model that other airlines were using.  They made it easy for customers to change their flights, without paying huge penalties.  And, they turned their planes around at airports as fast as possible.  They succeeded because they decided to play at a different table than all the other airlines were playing at.

[transcribed from the audiobook of Delivering Happiness]

This is great insight.  Hsieh doesn’t hit on the ways poker is different from business though.  To make a living, or get rich, at poker, you’ve got to be right over and over and over.  Even being right more often than not isn’t enough: you’ve got to make the right play often enough to make up for the big misses.  In business, as Mark Cuban has famously said, you only need to be right once.

Overall, I really enjoyed Delivering Happiness.  Tony Hsieh reads it himself, and delivers a few other useful insights like this one.  I would recommend reading it.

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We Are All Followers

Obesity is spreading like a disease.  If a person becomes obese, the likelihood that his friend would also become obese increased by 57 percent.  If a person’s sibling became obese, the chance of another sibling becoming obese increased by 40%.  If a person’s spouse became obese, the likelihood he would become obese increased 37%.  Part of this is based on things like portion size: people base the amount of food they eat on the amount others around them eat.  It’s hard to just eat a granola bar when everyone around you is eating Double-Doubles.  But, there are also deeper, more mysterious psychological forces driving our eating habits.

Consider the following: your friend Lucy, who is about 25 pounds overweight, e-mails you pictures from her recent vacation.  After you look at Lucy’s picture, the office secretary comes by with a plate of cookies.  Will exposure to someone overweight influence how many cookies you eat?

Over 26% of people surveyed said they would eat less than if they hadn’t seen the pictures, while nearly 32% said they wouldn’t eat any after seeing the pictures.  The rest of the people surveyed said the pictures wouldn’t affect their cookie eating desires or willpower. No one said that the photos would cause them to eat more.

It turns out, those people who saw a picture of fat Lucy ate substantially more than those who didn’t.  Why?

Goal Contagion

We’ve all been in that situation: two people talking about someone, when all of the sudden one person shifts the conversation dramatically, and the other person doesn’t miss a beat, knowing that someone just walked up behind him.  This sort of thing happens in a million different ways, where one person’s goal shifts and his accomplice’s shifts right in line.  One of my favorite examples:

Crank Yankers
Jimmy Gets Pumped
www.comedycentral.com
Comedy Central TV Shows Comedy Videos

Most people can tell what someone else wants by tone of voice, or turn of phrase, or even body language.  But, the ability to understand other people goes far beyond these basic social cues.  Primates, including humans, actually encode animated behavior and self-propelled motion of objects in terms of goals.  When we see someone pushing a shopping cart, we don’t simply observe the action of someone pushing a shopping cart.  We perceive that person’s behavior as goal-directed and then identify the goals behind that behavior.  We don’t even have to consciously think about it: we describe the action as “That guy must need more toilet paper,” not simply “That guy is pushing a basket on wheels.”

Research has also indicated that situational cues can automatically put goals in place and guide goal-directed behavior without a person’s awareness of them.  The perception of goal-implying behaviors may activate representations of goals outside of conscious awareness, which lead to actual goal directed behavior.  Basically, when we watch someone do something, the human brain automatically perceives the goal behind that action and then adopts and pursues the same goal. This is what’s known as goal contagion.

This seems wild, but from an evolutionary standpoint it makes sense: if we see someone gathering wood or building a hut, we understand the goal is fire or protection.  By automatically adopting that goal ourselves, it makes it easier for people to work together, which makes survival more likely.

Stereotypes

Humans seem to be so goal-oriented that we don’t just perceive goals from actions. We also perceive them from stereotypes (bundles of characteristics including traits, attitudes, behavioral tendencies, and goals that are associated with members of a social category). When we are exposed to a stereotyped person, or even just a photo of a stereotyped person, our brains perceive the goals associated with that stereotype, and, additionally, motivation or commitment to these goals.  For negative (non-deterministic) stereotypes, “it is likely that the stereotype includes high commitment to pursue stereotype-conducive behaviors and low commitment to a countervailing goal that would limit those behaviors.” In other words, because a person fits a negative stereotype, others are likely to infer that she has low commitment to a goal that would prevent her from fitting that stereotype.

Fat Lucy

When we combine the effect of goal contagion with the knowledge that stereotypes confer goals of their own, it becomes more clear why people eat more cookies after seeing a picture of fat Lucy.  “Because having high commitment to a goal to be healthy could limit actions that lead to being overweight, consumers infer that overweight people have low commitment to the health goal.”  When goal contagion kicks in, people who see the picture of fat Lucy adopt that same low commitment to health and eat more cookies.

Solutions

The authors of the stereotype studies propose two solutions to limit the negative effects of goal contagion:

  1. Increase access to an alternative goal.  i.e. if you’re trying to eat less at work, hang up that bikini in your office to remind you of your positive goal.
  2. Link the behavior to the stigma.  i.e. keep a picture of fat Lucy stuffing her face with food to remind you that the reason she’s fat is because she eats too much.

I would also suggest one more: merely being cognizant that this phenomena exists, actively thinking about it, might be enough for you to stop it from working.

Also keep in mind that this phenomenon of goal contagion applies throughout our lives.  For example, college students’ scores on general knowledge tests increased after exposure to a picture of a professor but decreased after exposure to a picture of a supermodel. Foster the environment that promotes positive goals and discourages negative goals.

Sources:

Goal Contagion

Stereotypes and Goal Contagion

Social Influence on Food Choice

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