A lot of people in their teens and 20s, and a fair amount of people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, have this idea that once they make it, once they’re successful, they’ll finally be able to tell people to fuck off. Whether it’s their boss, or their significant other, or the guy at work who’s always a pain to deal with, they have this hope that once they’re set, they’ll be unshackled, unburdened, and set free from the everyday indignities we working stiffs have to deal with.
“You got a problem Tom? Well, fuck you. I don’t need this. See ya later.”
That freedom seems so appealing. It’s why Entourage wouldn’t have lasted one season without Ari Gold.
The problem is, even after you’ve “made it”, you’re not done. You’ve still got a life to live. If you look around at all the most successful people in the world, every single one of them wants the admiration of others, or at least the acknowledgment of a job well done, whether its from the world at large or just their own kids. Sowing a lot of “fuck yous” certainly isn’t going to produce a bounty of congratulation (nor good kids). I was reminded of this lesson while watching this incredible clip of some of the most famous blues musicians in the world all playing together on one stage:
I love John Mayer’s face at the 4:00 mark. He looks over at Clapton and Buddy Guy with that “Did I do good?” face. John Mayer’s a damn fine guitarist, has sold millions of records, continues to sell out tours, and has no shortage of models and actresses willing to spend quality time with him. He’s made it. But he still wants the approval of his elders. It’s not some weird case of insecurity either: Clapton and Guy, the elders, want to be respected by each other and their peers; they want to be respected by the crowd; everybody up there wants to still be seen as relevant.
The point is, the “I can’t wait to be able to tell these people to fuck off” attitude is the wrong one to have, because once you do make it, you won’t want to tell people to fuck off. Worse still, that attitude starts to pervade the rest of your personality, almost ensuring that you’ll never make it at all.
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