What Scares Us Most

There is no child on the planet who is afraid of the dark.

They’re afraid of not being able to see what’s around them. They’re afraid of the unknown.

We all are.

While fear of pain drives us to act immediately, to avoid a flame or a bear, fear of the unknown drives us at an even more basic and fundamental level. Nobody is really afraid to lose their job. They’re afraid of not knowing how they’re going to support their families. They’re afraid of not knowing where their next rent payment is going to come from. They’re afraid of not knowing what’s going to happen; if worse comes to worse, are they going to be able to afford to eat in six months? What if they get sick? What if, what if, what if.

This fear is so deep seated that it’s not surprising what kind of stories we’ve invented about the biggest and most certain unknown: death. Stories so vivid and revered that people structure their days to worship them, craft their personas and lives around them, and make themselves miserable following them. All because they desperately want to know what’s going to happen.

This fear seems totally backwards.

If we’ve trained ourselves to imagine monsters in the closet, or financial ruin as the result of being fired, or eternal torment as a result of pretty much anything humans do naturally, certainly we can train ourselves to do the opposite. To imagine a muse who whispers great ideas to us from under our bed, or financial opportunity when we get fired, or eternal bliss as the natural end of all of this. All we have to do is change our perception.

Think about it this way: when has an actual unknown ever had disastrous, long-term consequences in your life? The answer is probably never. Whatever has happened, you’ve somehow made it through. Since that’s the case, and that will certainly continue to be the case, there’s no real reason for most of us to fear the unknown. Whatever it is, we’ll deal with it and make it through to the other side.

If we perceive these unknowns as opportunities, as adventures, as experiences, imagine how much more free we’d be.